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How Grief Affects Your Relationships

By: Beth Morrisey MLIS - Updated: 21 Jul 2017 | comments*Discuss
 
Grief bereavement loss emotions

Usually when someone dies those close to him or her will feel intense emotions that can often unsettle their own personal relationships. Grief, or the emotions felt due to a loss, can be particularly hard to cope with for both the bereaved and those who are trying to be supportive. Thankfully, with mutual respect and patience, relationships can withstand and even sometimes grow stronger due to grief.

What Is Grief?

Generally speaking grief is an emotional response to the death of a loved one. Very often grief is equated to sadness, though it is not always so simple. Instead, grief often involves a progression of different emotions and reactions that include shock and/or numbness, anxiety, anger and sadness. It may take days, weeks or even years for someone who is grieving to cycle through all of these stages and some people never experience all of these emotions due to a particular loss, or experience some emotions related to one loss but different emotions due to another. This is perfectly normal. There is no set itinerary for grief, though if there is a distinct lack of emotional response, or an emotional response so overwhelming that it begins to affect a person’s employment, education or personal relationships then it may be best to consult a counsellor.

Grief and Relationships

Grief can take a toll on relationships because it is primarily an individual experience. Partners can try to understand someone else’s grief but they can never experience it or take on the burden themselves. Grief can have a number of affects on relationships. Partners may grow closer as they need each for support or realise that they would like to spend more time together. However, partners may also grow apart if the grieving individual retreats into him or herself, his or her partner loses patience with grief or a combination. Intimate relationships may also experience a slow period if the grieving individual does not feel like becoming physically close to others. Finally, some relationships may not experience any changes if grief is not intense, if it is fleeting or if partners are able to give and receive support in an open and “efficient” manner.

Supporting Others Through Grief

Perhaps the greatest mistake someone attempting to comfort or console another can make is to insist on how the other must be feeling. Instead, friends and relatives of the bereaved should be patient with whatever emotions the individual may be feeling without deciding whether these emotions are “right” or “appropriate”. Talking about how each person is feeling often helps everyone stay on the same page and understand more about what others are going through, and scheduling activities that the bereaved enjoys may help him or her to experience positive emotions. If more than one person is experience grief at the same time, it may be that allowing each to experience their own grief without feeling that they must make the other feel better helps all involved. However, throughout grief, physical affection, tokens of love and affection, and reminders that others will always be there for the bereaved will likely always be appreciated.

Grief is often a solitary, unique experience. Others will never be able to understand exactly how the bereaved is feeling, so patience with whatever may come will help all relationships stay strong. If it is believed that grief is interfering with the bereaved life then counselling may be in order.

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katied - 13-Jul-17 @ 12:43 PM
Jack - Your Question:
My wife and I have suffered great personal loss on both sides of our families. My Mother passed away in 2014, in the past year both my Wife's Grandmothers passed away within three weeks of each other and within the last few months my Wife's Mother passed away. My Dad is also in poor health and lives on his own, a constant course of worry. My Father-in-law has a spinal disease. My wife and I have been married for 16years and I thought had a close loving marriage. She works as a funeral director and is currently signed if work with depression. Up to a couple of weeks ago a thought we were OK. Then a week ago she said she needed a break blaming my mood swings and bad temper (we hardly ever argue) and took her stuff and moved up to my father-in-law's.Yes I am not perfect and I am occasionally in a bad mood, I have occasionally looked at late night porn in the past. But that's the worse I have ever done in my marriage and not proud of it and I no more than most men in their 40's.Is this normal behaviour under the circumstances? We talking and everything is amicable, in fact I've asked out on a date night in a few days time. I am trying to keep everything as normal as I can for our two boys. I love my very much and I want her back at home with me, but I don't know what else to do? Please help.

Our Response:
Can you see if she's willing to try bereavement counselling? Which you might also benefit from yourself? It sounds like you've both been through a lot and need an independent person to listen to you. Marriage counselling might also be beneficial. Good luck and keep us posted.
FacingBereavement - 3-Jul-17 @ 12:39 PM
My wife and I have suffered great personal loss on both sides of our families. My Mother passed away in 2014, in the past year both my Wife's Grandmothers passed away within three weeks of each other and within the last few months my Wife's Mother passed away. My Dad is also in poor health and lives on his own, a constant course of worry. My Father-in-law has a spinal disease. My wife and I have been married for 16years and I thought had a close loving marriage. She works as a funeral director and is currently signed if work with depression. Up to a couple of weeks ago a thought we were OK. Then a week ago she said she needed a break blaming my mood swings and bad temper (we hardly ever argue) and took her stuff and moved up to my father-in-law's.Yes I am not perfect and I am occasionally in a bad mood, I have occasionally looked at late night porn in the past. But that's the worse I have ever done in my marriage and not proud of it and I no more than most men in their 40's .Is this normal behaviour under the circumstances?We talking and everything is amicable, in fact I've asked out on a date night in a few days time.I am trying to keep everything as normal as I can for our two boys. I love my very much and I want her back at home with me, but I don't know what else to do? Please help.
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Dave - 21-Jun-17 @ 11:08 AM
Stllthesameoldme - Your Question:
Hi, reading all the comments I can relate to this. My (ex) husband's father passed away in Jan 2013. I feel my husband still to this day hasn't gone through the grieving process. His behaviour has changed immensely. He has a lot of anger issues. He finally left me back in March. We had 25 years of an exceptional marriage, then 3 years of hell. I'm now going through my own grieving process of loosing the love of my life. Please if anyone is reading this and has had a relationship which was fantastic before a death happens I ask you seek the counselling you need. Because my husband hasn't got help, advice or even spoke to close friends and family about loosing his father now our marriage is over, leaving me in a sadden state. I've lost my husband and best friend.

Our Response:
So sorry to hear about this. So many men (and women too) bottle up their feelings and refuse to consider counselling. We too would urge anyone to consider it, even if you don't feel you need it.
FacingBereavement - 20-Jun-17 @ 10:25 AM
Hi, reading all the comments I can relate to this.My (ex) husband's father passed away in Jan 2013. I feel my husband still to this day hasn't gone through the grieving process.His behaviour has changed immensely. He has a lot of anger issues.He finally left me back in March.We had 25 years of an exceptional marriage, then 3 years of hell.I'm now going through my own grieving process of loosing the love of my life.Please if anyone is reading this and has had a relationship which was fantastic before a death happens I ask you seek the counselling you need.Because my husband hasn't got help, advice or even spoke to close friends and family about loosing his father now our marriage is over, leaving me in a sadden state. I've lost my husband and best friend.
Stllthesameoldme - 18-Jun-17 @ 7:58 AM
Crazy - Your Question:
My partner of 18 months grandmother passed away recently , started to withdraw a couple of months before this happened. Due to feeling overwhelmed with home life and work. Started with withdrawing and I actually thought she had started an affair by all her behaviour. Said this is how she copes. I began to get aniexty and went to the doctors as realised I needed to get help. My partner and I have recently separated and she has moved out. No clue to how it all happened.

Our Response:
That is really sad to hear. The issue is that one person often has to be the "strong one" and if that person is also experiencing problems, there are two people left floundering. We hope you can move on from this.
FacingBereavement - 16-Jun-17 @ 10:53 AM
My partner of 18 months grandmother passed away recently , started to withdraw a couple of months before this happened. Due to feeling overwhelmed with home life and work. Started with withdrawing and I actually thought she had started an affair by all her behaviour. Said this is how she copes. I began to get aniexty and went to the doctors as realised I needed to get help. My partner and I have recently separated and she has moved out. No clue to how it all happened.
Crazy - 13-Jun-17 @ 4:23 PM
Last year (2016) my boyfriend really went through it! It began in January, he got sick with pneumonia and due to the severity of it, he was placed on medical leave until everything was back to normal. (mind you, he’s a truck driver, so for him not to be on the road, took a toll on him) Let’s fast forward 2 months (March 2016), his favorite cousin is killed in a hit and run accident. He is tasked with putting up the bulk of the money for funeral arrangements and also taking over the property left behind. It takes another month to bury his cousin (family wars). After all issues and finally, the burial of this cousin is finished, he learns yet another family member has passed. (April 2016) Thankfully he wasn’t asked to put up money for this one. After all of this has taken place, I find that he’d become very distant (rightfully so) so I tried not to bother him too much. One week though, something was gnawing at me to contact him, I couldn’t sleep the night before, I needed to know what was going on. I called him that morning and come to find out, his mom had passed from a stroke. (May 2016) In the midst of helping cousins and aunts, he was also dealing with his mom’s health issues. (This I didn’t know) Of course with a life-altering event like this, one is going to retreat. Let’s fast forward to this new year (2017) babe is still withdrawn. I’ve talked to him a few times but he says he’s going through a lot and just not really in the mood to talk, he says he’d rather pray about everything (Which I wholeheartedly encourage) and when he’s ready to talk he will….from this point forward he’s gone into complete Shut Down Mode! No call, text, email, etc. I'm not sure what to do...? Signed, A concerned girlfriend :
design_gyrl - 9-Jun-17 @ 10:39 PM
So my girlfriend's brother died about two weeks ago and she's having nation of of emotions how do I deal with this when she lashes out at me I'm trying to be here for her and be patient she keeps referring to we need to break up or she's done what do I do
Cowboy - 1-Jun-17 @ 9:38 AM
Seanda - Your Question:
My mom died in a very tragic car accident March 20th my husband really dont understand how I feel instead of trying to find ways to support me he tell me that im seeking attention and just want ppl to feel sorry for me smh. I am 26 and my was only 49 I have 3,4,&7 year olds that my mom spent most of her time with and a 24 yr old brother that she spoiled rotten so im trying to support the 4 of them and on top of that I bottle up my grief so I dont really think to much about sex I just wish my mom could come back and my husband tell me thats just an excuse and accuse me of cheating which I have never cheated on him but he just dont understand and I get emotional and angry and I flip out really bad and I truly need help I need counciling bad but if he cant support me we need to part ways because loosing my mama made me feel like my heart was ripped out and I feel really empty and alone

Our Response:
You're right you need alternative support - your GP or an organisation like CRUSE can help. As for your husband, he clearly doesn't understand how the death of your mother has affected you. Again, a support organisation may be able to involve your husband in some of the counselling sessions, or by helping you to articulate your feelings in a way that gets through to him.
FacingBereavement - 22-May-17 @ 10:23 AM
My mom died in a very tragic car accident March 20th my husband really dont understand how i feel instead of trying to find ways to support me he tell me that im seeking attention and just want ppl to feel sorry for me smh... I am 26 and my was only 49 i have 3,4,&7 year olds that my mom spent most of her time with and a 24 yr old brother that she spoiled rotten so im trying to support the 4 of them and on top of that i bottle up my grief so i dont really think to much about sex i just wish my mom could come back and my husband tell me thats just an excuse and accuse me of cheating which i have never cheated on him but he just dont understand and i get emotional and angry and i flip out really bad and i truly need help i need counciling bad but if he cant support me we need to part ways because loosing my mama made me feel like my heart was ripped out and i feel really empty and alone
Seanda - 21-May-17 @ 5:25 PM
Jewels - Your Question:
HI I lost my mom March 1st I'm only 16 years old and iv pretty much just forgot who I am myself. I feel lost 24/7 knowing she won't be there for anything now. Not when I graduate highschool or college. I don't really know how to live my life anymore and it hurts me so much every day. I feel like I'm in a black hole every second of the day. Iv grown apart from everyone and no one really understands what I'm going threw. Iv lost so many close people in my family but the loss of my mom has really meseed me up. I'm doing better in school etc. But my head it's self is a blur. Every day is a blur. I miss her like crazy. Life is tough for me right now I need help I guess or I just wanted to share my feelings I don't really know. Maybe this can help someone so they know they arnt alone. I don't really know

Our Response:
Does your school have a welfare/pastoral advisor who can refer you to a support group or counselling? It will really help you to talk to other people who are, or have been in the same position as you. You're at the stage right now where many people expect you to be "grown up" and independent, but we know it's an age where you really need (and want) your mum around. It must hurt so much when you achieve something and the first person you want to tell is your mum. Please ask at school for help, most teachers are trained to know what to do and how to refer you to different organisations or counselling etc. You've done the right thing to start out with by looking into this and writing about it here - we're sure your mum would be really proud of you. Sending a virtual hug for you, take care.
FacingBereavement - 10-May-17 @ 10:21 AM
HI I lost my mom March 1st I'm only 16 years old and iv pretty much just forgot who I am myself. I feel lost 24/7 knowing she won't be there for anything now. Not when I graduate highschool or college. I don't really know how to live my life anymore and it hurts me so much every day. I feel like I'm in a black hole every second of the day. Iv grown apart from everyone and no one really understands what I'm going threw. Iv lost so many close people in my family but the loss of my mom has really meseed me up. I'm doing better in school etc. But my head it's self is a blur. Every day is a blur. I miss her like crazy. Life is tough for me right now I need help I guess or i just wanted to share my feelings I don't really know. Maybe this can help someone so they know they arnt alone. I don't really know
Jewels - 9-May-17 @ 7:00 AM
My partners mum died a month ago and she is still affected by her loss.Im there for her and helping her through the greif.I have found she is regecting my affection for her.we had a lovely affectionate relationship before hand but now i thinks she hates me sometimes and wont touch me.I hope this is normal and she changes after she gets over her greif im hanging in there.
Dave - 7-May-17 @ 8:14 AM
My husbands mum got murdered now his in his hometown country . But his pass is due here in Sing and I don't know how to comfort him except say what's urgent . But I wanted to go over he kept saying no. Now his trying to sell the house . He looked happy on the video as he see a new place. But at night he just goes drinking. And I'm anxious about the pass. Because if he doesn't take it ,it will take a year or maybe no reentry for him. I don't know if he loves us or this will change him. He just keep saying wait.
You - 6-May-17 @ 6:11 PM
hi..I lost my dad 2 years ago & the first year was a blur..since the second things have got worse. my marriage I feel is falling apart iv seen my husband watching porn to women what are not like me..and it's causing arguments even 8 months down the line..and regiments are getting out of control. I don't know how to deal with my emotions, my child don't like seeing me cry about there grandad...so I keep it in..iv started to enjoy a drink now & then & that's when the rows get explosive! I feel such anger deep down. I feel I'm falling out of love with my husband but I know we love each other & are soul mates...feel confused..alone...
hanna - 20-Apr-17 @ 2:44 PM
I lost my mum not long ago and have gone into my own world since, I have seen things that my partner does that really irritates me! He constantly looks at the same type of woman while we are out.. I find this really disrespectful as these woman are the total opposite of me and are more like his ex partners! I have pulled him on this and he says I'm being stupid but I can't help how I feel when I see him sneaking a peek at this certain type of girl! This has really upset and deflated me to which I don't like going out anywhere with him and make excuses why I can't go, I have come to the point I don't want to be treated this way playing second best to his fantasy of girls he likes, we also had a row about him watching a film with a dark hair girl while having sex I caught him watching tv while getting down to it! This made me lose my temper and sex ban come in force! I have looked at his phone as my guts are really good with instinct and he's been watching porn(same type of girl he likes) why has he done this? Instead of trying to make me happy he's turned to porn to help himself! I feel really let down and ready to call this relationship a day?
Blakey - 19-Apr-17 @ 11:09 AM
April - Your Question:
Hi, I lost my mum 6 months ago and everyone says I have dealt with it well but I worry I am very anxious and defensive at times and hurt my partners feelings. I think it is just that I am always waiting for the next bad thing to happen so read things into his jokes and comments that he doesn't intend. I have also dealt with being hit by a car and having a serious illness myself, along with starting a new job and relocating. So lots of major life stuff. I just want to share that I love him and feel terrible when I get defensive or snappy. It just happens sometimes then I feel bad. I am working on trying to stay quiet until the feeling passes. I hope it might help someone experiencing this from a bereaved spouse to know it is not intentional and I have only recently noticed the pattern and realised, it's me not him!

Our Response:
Thanks for describing your feelings here and we're sure this will help some of our other readers. One thing that might worth trying would be to write this down for your partner to see as well...in the form or a note or even a text message, or perhaps show him the comment you've written here.
FacingBereavement - 18-Apr-17 @ 11:43 AM
Hi, I lost my mum 6 months ago and everyone says I have dealt with it well but I worry I am very anxious and defensive at times and hurt my partners feelings. I think it is just that I am always waiting for the next bad thing to happen so read things into his jokes and comments that he doesn't intend. I have also dealt with being hit by a car and having a serious illness myself, along with starting a new job and relocating. So lots of major life stuff. I just want to share that I love him and feel terrible when I get defensive or snappy. It just happens sometimes then I feel bad. I am working on trying to stay quiet until the feeling passes. I hope it might help someone experiencing this from a bereaved spouse to know it is not intentional and I have only recently noticed the pattern and realised, it's me not him!
April - 15-Apr-17 @ 6:30 PM
My new long-distance boyfriend of 5 months just shut me out of his life.I did not know why, no reason, no explanation.So obviously I was worried sick, called him and texted him so many times, even texted his friend who knew something but would not say.It wasn't until 5 days later I found out my boyfriend's brother had died.He sent me very short 2 line text but still has not spoken to me since. He just shut me out of his life, no explanation nothing.I am very upset about this because it's like de ja vu for me.My last boyfriend did the same 3.5 years ago but he was sick and dying so that is why I was worried and panicking this time, it brought back all the bad memories and hurt so much.Now I don't know what is happening, does he want me in his life or not.Surely if he did he would've told me what happened straight away at least then I would have understood and not gone psycho stalker girlfriend sending texts and voicemails all the time.What do I do now?.Do I wait and see if he gets in touch or what.I don't know?
Emjay - 5-Apr-17 @ 8:33 PM
HCB - Your Question:
My father-in-law died about six weeks ago. My husband and I currently live in Canada for his job; when we found out his dad was dying, he went back to the UK straight away - I had to go a day later, as there was no other space on the flight. Unfortunately, his dad passed before my husband could get there. When I arrived, he told me that the funeral wouldn't be for a couple of weeks and that he would have to go back to work. I had to stay in the UK, as we couldn't afford the extra plane fare. He came back a couple of days before the funeral, which was a hard day, and then we came back to Canada the day after. The next day, he went back to work. That was about two weeks ago and things have gone horribly wrong. In the first week, he was pretty withdrawn, which is of course understandable; we made a deal that I would stop asking him how he was feeling and he would talk to me when he felt he could. Since last weekend, I've barely seen him. He's had a couple of late nights out in pubs, stayed over a couple of nights at work and, on the other days, come home as late as possible. We talked a bit but not much - I didn't want to push it - but he seemed to agree that talking to a counsellor might be helpful. Yesterday I came home from work to a letter, saying he's very unhappy, needs space, doesn't know if he loves me anymore and has moved out to a motel. I'm trying to respect his need for space but I am sick with worry about him and devastated about 12 years of my life going down the pan in the space of two weeks. I feel so alone as I have no friends here; our life here has totally revolved around him/his job and us spending time together. This has pretty much happened out of the blue and I just don't know what to do. I think he's spent the last week stressing and I've spent the last week crying, neither of which is helpful, but what can I do when he doesn't want to talk to me and now he's gone? I don't even know where he is.

Our Response:
Poor you, what a terrible thing to be dealing with. We're not in Canada so don't know of any support organisations, but please try and find something like this in your area. If you can talk to others who've been in a similar position it might easier to handle. Give you husband time to come round and to grieve, but make sure he knows he cannot continue to treat you like this or to have you hanging around waiting for him to come back either.
FacingBereavement - 5-Apr-17 @ 1:35 PM
My father-in-law died about six weeks ago.My husband and I currently live in Canada for his job; when we found out his dad was dying, he went back to the UK straight away - I had to go a day later, as there was no other space on the flight.Unfortunately, his dad passed before my husband could get there.When I arrived, he told me that the funeral wouldn't be for a couple of weeks and that he would have to go back to work.I had to stay in the UK, as we couldn't afford the extra plane fare.He came back a couple of days before the funeral, which was a hard day, and then we came back to Canada the day after.The next day, he went back to work.That was about two weeks ago and things have gone horribly wrong.In the first week, he was pretty withdrawn, which is of course understandable; we made a deal that I would stop asking him how he was feeling and he would talk to me when he felt he could.Since last weekend, I've barely seen him.He's had a couple of late nights out in pubs, stayed over a couple of nights at work and, on the other days, come home as late as possible.We talked a bit but not much - I didn't want to push it - but he seemed to agree that talking to a counsellor might be helpful.Yesterday I came home from work to a letter, saying he's very unhappy, needs space, doesn't know if he loves me anymore and has moved out to a motel.I'm trying to respect his need for space but I am sick with worry about him and devastated about 12 years of my life going down the pan in the space of two weeks.I feel so alone as I have no friends here; our life here has totally revolved around him/his job and us spending time together.This has pretty much happened out of the blue and I just don't know what to do.I think he's spent the last week stressing and I've spent the last week crying, neither of which is helpful, but what can I do when he doesn't want to talk to me and now he's gone?I don't even know where he is.
HCB - 2-Apr-17 @ 12:33 AM
My wife lost her father 2 weeks ago and I'm noticing the same thing. We been together 25 years and her dad was my dad also in every way other than biological. I'm trying my best to be there for her but I suffer from depression from mainly rejection in childhood so I don't think I can take any more. She's the only person who ever showed me love and it's litteraly killing me . I don't want to sound selfish but I'm trying to spoil her and it's like I'm just a commodity with no appreciation.It's only been 2 weeks and we not had funeral yet but I just don't see how I can keep coping with my own issues I'm afraid my marriage could break down.
Matty23 - 31-Mar-17 @ 3:55 PM
I have had a bad 18 months. My first son was 7 weeks old when my mum was diagnoses with terminal cancer. She passed away when my son was 18 months old and I was 8 months pregnant with my second boy. Throughout mums illness my in-laws were not very sympathetic and would frequently state they felt we did not see them enough. They even told my husband that after I took my mother and father away for the weekend, that we were 'making memories with jens mum and dad at the expense of seeing them'.Now mum has gone I have an intense anger toward them.I know their dream of being grandparent was tainted by my mums illness but I can't help thinking they need to pull themselves together as mum is gone forever.How do I move on do I mention how they have upset me or will it just take time.
Jen - 28-Mar-17 @ 11:35 PM
September 1, 2016 after 3 days in a hospital burn unit my Aunt passed away from her final attempt at suicide... Her and I were very close even though my elder I was more of the adult of us 2... My Husband of 5 years always my main supporter my rock was there the last 2 years of her life right by my side in every effort to help her or just be her support system... She struggled with addiction as have we and she dealt with mental illness... I knew this time I wouldn't be taking her home and getting her into bed as had happened many times before so I guess I was prepared... My Husband was by my side when I got the call and he was by my side when we scattered her ashes... Literally the day after he started when he would come home from work leaving not even an hour later to not return till he would lay his head to his pillow... I first in a way confronted him before Christmas... He said he was struggling with her loss to which I could fully understand as was I... I from the first day never stayed in bed unable to do nothing and just cry no i got up every morning made him breakfast seen him off and continued on my days of suicide awareness... January came and went... I only seen him when he came in late and flopped in bed... February came and went to now March... I did in turn yell and cry and begged him to talk to me to not shut me out that I need him and I know he needs me... He laughed at me....... Said I was making something outta nothing... Tonight day 7 in a row he has slept in the living-living-room yet day 33 in a row of him not coming home until after 12:30 am........ I know I have a mouth and I can be pretty feisty so my mouth is shut yet only for now... Something has to give..! Right..!..??
Resa - 26-Mar-17 @ 9:14 AM
Sammi - Your Question:
My partner lost his dad,taken it badly and as depression. I have tried so much to support him and being there, he is just pushing me away not talking to me not even spend time with me and the children. My heart is breaking trying to help and support him, feels like we growing apart in the relationship. We don't do nothing for each other no more, he shouts at abuse at me and seems like I can't do nothing rightAm always the one in the wrong, coming so close ending the relationship he is. I have tried so hard to be there for him but seems he don't want me. Spending money silly, going out with his friends happy and watching football when he wants. I do really let him do what he wants to make him happy but he don't notice what he is doing is hurting me so much and can't take it feel like am breaking down in my mind and feeling am not the one he wants any more. This might sound selfish of me I don't want to hear I got to be patient when I am but I can't do it if am getting pushed aside and not getting spoken to, don't want sound nasty be different if he wanted my love and support.

Our Response:
It sounds as though your partner is afraid of his responsibilities now that his own father has died. He doesn't see how he's hurting you, or that his actions are having a such an effect. You could try writing down how you feel, try not to focus on the negatives but on how you are coping and how you iss the relationship you once had etc. Contact local support organisations such as Cruse Bereavement Care - they can help the partners of bereaved people too and may have some suggestions about how you can approach your situation.
FacingBereavement - 22-Mar-17 @ 11:45 AM
My partner lost his dad,taken it badly and as depression. I have tried so much to support him and being there, he is just pushing me away not talking to me not even spend time with me and the children. My heart is breaking trying to help and support him, feels like we growing apart in the relationship. We don't do nothing for each other no more, he shouts at abuse at me and seems like I can't do nothing right Am always the one in the wrong, coming so close ending the relationship he is. I have tried so hard to be there for him but seems he don't want me. Spending money silly, going out with his friends happy and watching football when he wants. I do really let him do what he wants to make him happy but he don't notice what he is doing is hurting me so much and can't take it feel like am breaking down in my mind and feeling am not the one he wants any more. This might sound selfish of me I don't want to hear I got to be patient when I am but I can't do it if am getting pushed aside and not getting spoken to, don't want sound nasty be different if he wanted my love and support.
Sammi - 19-Mar-17 @ 3:18 PM
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