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Coping with Multiple Deaths

By: Beth Morrisey MLIS - Updated: 7 Feb 2021 | comments*Discuss
 
Death Family Friends Grief Trauma

It’s hard enough to cope with one death, but when multiple deaths occur at the same time or in close succession it can be downright overwhelming. When many deaths occur at the same time it may be under traumatic or accidental circumstances, and the shock of the surrounding events can lead to even greater grief. Family and friends can be invaluable for an individual trying to cope with the death or more than one loved one, but ultimately the individual alone will need to work through his or her grief in order to truly survive the trauma.

Family and Friends of the Bereaved

Family and friends of the bereaved may be suffering themselves, but pulling together to get through the days, weeks and months after the initial loss(es) is important. Helping each other to arrange funerals and/or memorials, sorting through the estates of the deceased, organising child care and meals and keeping an eye on each other to make sure that everyone is eating and sleeping is a safety net that many individuals need following the deaths of more than one loved one. If it seems that one individual is not coping as well, such as by turning to drink or drugs, violence or anger, or an inability to care for themselves or their dependents, then organising grief counselling and/or therapy immediately may be a good idea.

Surviving the Losses of Multiple Deaths

Ultimately, surviving more than one death at a time is something that each individual will need to do for him or herself. This can be even harder if one of the deaths (or more) was accidental or traumatic given the sudden and painful nature of the event(s). Allowing themselves time to grieve for each person, and recognising that grieving for multiple losses will take longer than for just one loss, is a good way for bereaved individuals to begin exploring their grief. Putting off other things for a while may even be necessary in order to grieve properly. However, individuals who begin to lose interest in life, who feel that they are being punished for something through the death of others, who find themselves feeling out of control with rage or who turn to drink or drugs to mask the pain must be honest with themselves about their behaviours. Getting help to work through their emotions, whatever they may be, is imperative.

The death of more than one loved one is a unique trauma for every individual who experiences it. However, each person who must cope with more than one death will already know inside themselves how they can best cope. If these coping mechanisms are destructive, then seeking professional help to find others is important. Family and friends can be invaluable at this time, so allowing them to help may be a way for everyone to work through their grief. If, however, a family member or friend begins to impede someone else’s grief process then discussing how this has happened and what each would like to do about it may help everyone stay on the same page during a difficult time.

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I just lost my grandma today. I don't know how to cope. I lost my grandpa, her husband, on May 20th 2020. I grieved for my grandpa for months, I cried every day. By november I had stopped crying every day and only would occasionally. I tried to be positive because I also had university exams. I'm in the middle of another exam session and grandma is gone. This morning I had just asked my mother howshe was and last night I had written the names of all the people I'd lost and cared about: Nonno Antonio (her husband). He's the one I loved the most. I was named after him because he was such a good person and my mum (his daughter in law) wanted me to have his name. The only thing that keeps me going is that they are now together once more. My grandma's (mental) health rapidly deteriorated after his death. I've thought some horrible things. I loved my grandpa a lot more than grandma but I loved her nonetheless. I regret not studying harder - they would've seen me graduate from university. That's a regret that will probably stay with me forever. I know it might not sound important but it is to me. Nonno Peppo - my other grandpa. He died when I was 6 so I didn't really know him. Nonno Dionisio - he's not my grandfather (he's my uncle's father) but he felt like one to me. I know he cared about me even though I wasn't his grandson. He did have a grandson many years ago but he died in a car accident when he was 7/8. I think he was saw him in me, I'm not sure. I remember that he didn't want to sell his sheep, even though he was getting older, because I liked them. Padre Tommaso. He was a priest at my church that held a small ceremony for my grandpa. It was just my parents and my little sister. He died a month after grandpa. Mme. Janine. She was my violin teacher for many years and I saw her as a grandma. I was born and raised abroad so I only saw my grandparents during the holidays. I found out on new years eve 2018. I had called her to invite her to dinner. When no one replied my sister found an article online stating that she had passed away in April. Ciao Nonna Maria, adesso anche tu te ne sei andata. Almeno state insieme di nuovo. Lo so che è quello che volevi.
Antonio - 7-Feb-21 @ 4:03 PM
I lost my brother at 22, he was 27. Hung with his own belt. Grandma died the following year. Then uncle and aunt the following year. Some time went by then my other aunt and uncle passed. Lost my best friend fromchildhood. Down the road My dad died, next year my sister, then my best friend of 31 years. My niece (from my brother) became homeless and turned on me. Now she has a tbi. After my best friend died my Director of 12 years died as well as my wonderful career. I was degraded and mentally abused by his replacement and fired. (Sovereign property, no rights) then 2 horses the same year I had to euthanize. Then the last death just 3 yrs ago,my mom.. My entire family is gone. Im not even a sr yet. Now, a really good friend of mine is struggling with cancer. If I didnt have my daughter there would be no reason to go on. I couldnt function in life in the professional field. Became a care giver. Last 2 years 2 clients passed. Now I have health issues and its scary.
There is a God - 1-Feb-21 @ 3:16 PM
I’m so sad right now! I lost my dad on Boxing Day to Covid. He was all I had left. I lost my sister to cancer in 2014 , then my brother2016 , then my mum 2019 and now my dad 2020. I feel so abandoned and alone. I can’t get rid of the feeling that I’m next. Why am I left alone? This is just too much to bare. I am a single parent with no support and I’m so scared. I miss my family so much.
Bailey - 16-Jan-21 @ 6:21 AM
I lost both my sons in 2020. They were 30 and 33 yrs old. I am lost and cant move on. Josh was shot in the head. They say suicide I knowit's not. My other son Chris hung himself 2 months later. Never could I ever imagine this. In my heart I know what happened. They were arguing and gun went off. My x had my son lie. Chris CV ould not live wa with what he did. The way it all happened the lies .I want to take my life and go to the. Life has haa endedfor me. They were my only familymy reason for going on. I'm angry and full ll I ever believed I now question. Both my sons in 2 1/2 months. They lived in ShowLow,AZ.
Mom - 6-Jan-21 @ 10:22 AM
I got diagnosed with cancer early 2017 then lost my dad early 2018 then in March of 2019 I lost my mom and brother 5 days apart..it is still so overwhelming for me..I have lost all interest in life or trying to enjoy life and be happy and move forward..I am angry at what has happened to me and my family and still can't wrap my head around it all
Heartbroken ?? - 4-Dec-20 @ 6:13 PM
I’m 35 and have faced 2 massive griefs this year. My mum, my best friend, my everything passed away in Feb 2020 from cancer. She died at home, we don’t think she was in too much pain. It hurts every day. All I seem to do is cry. I have 2 sons, one who was extremely close to her, almost like a second mum. She had 16 months from diagnosis. We miss her so much. We had to rally around after my dad who had a brain hemorrhage in ‘96 but able bodied. Short term memory was a big problem. He died 2 weeks ago on 15th Oct by a lorry. We went to see him yesterday and funeral on Tuesday. I don’t know how I’m functioning right now. We have until 23rd Nov to give their council house back so have been clearing that. How do I ever feel normal again?
Blossom85 - 31-Oct-20 @ 7:00 AM
I have lost my mum, partner,nephew,uncle, aunt in the last year and half and now my 27 year old sister has days left to live my sister is dying of a slow painful death to cancer she has it all over now started with cervical. my sister is by far the worse as the rest were sudden i also have lost 6 good friends in space of 2 years. I am a carer and when someone dies at my work i look after the resident i look after the families and i wash and prepare the resident to go to undertakers and I then go home its takes me a couple of days but then it's out my mind. 3 of my friends died first then my partner then my nephew then another friend then my aunty then other friend then my mum died then at my mum funeral my uncle took a heart attack then my other friend died a week after that but my point in writing this is i am beating myself up and hating on myself because i loved all these people so so bloody much but I feel horrible even saying this but I feel like i have looked at all there deaths like they are not someone i love with all my heart like they are residents i have looked after I felt emotional for 1 or 2 days then I got on with myour life and strangely i had been on anti depressants since I was 15 years old i am 38 now and have been off them for 3 years my mind set has never been more positive in the fact that losing all these people it has pushed me to live my best life as in going back to college doing alternative medications that I have always wanted to do but was lacking in confidence fot the first time in my life i am not scared to do everything I have ever wished to do which has put me in such a positive head space but then when people ask how i am after losing these people the guilt creeps back in like i should be feeling sad I shouldn't be coping with there deaths but I am.is this normal behaviour am I losing my mind
jules3003 - 19-Sep-20 @ 9:27 AM
I lost my brother a year ago then 9 months later my mum died battling bladder cancer. Had to watch my mum in agony with cancer and knowing there was nothing I could do to help her. This was also right in the midst I f covid-19 and it was the worst experience of my life. Without my mum in my life is horrendous and the emotional pain I feel everyday is unbearable at times. I already suffer with anxiety and depression and have an addiction issues as well.I need some help as the anxiety and depression is causing havoc with my body and I now am struggling to even go out the door. I've been sick as well and my diabetes is all ovr the place. Had numerous hypo's while I've been out and has scared me to death. My marriage is crumbling and my relationship with kids us affected as well. Complete mess.HELP!
Edge - 18-Sep-20 @ 3:30 PM
I lost my entire family. I grew up in the same house my entire life. I had both parents and a younger sister, (who had a very rare genetic syndrome) by my side since I entered this world. My parents were married and I was very sheltered.I had a very happy childhood. My father died of pancreatic cancer when I was 18 years old, my mother died from anaphylaxis (allergic reaction) when I was 20. My younger sister died in her sleep in 2018 and I lost my dog 2019 he was 10 years old. I am now 29 years old and very much still grieving and enduring horrendous anxiety and panic. Just wanted to share my story, saying I feel for all of you
Sharaya - 28-Aug-20 @ 4:21 PM
My sister has had 3 losses in a 24 month period. And she hasn't grieved at all from the first one. I'm very worried about her.we are very close and I'm there for her anytime but I live in a different state. Everytime something happens I'm there. So 24 months ago. My sister and husband lost a dear friend by a heart attack ( 32 yrs old) exactly 1 yr later they lost ( His mom sisters mom in law) very close relationship. There still dealing with these 2 losses. Husband not dealing well with loss of mom.-deniel. My sister hadn't grieved at all due to husband. Basically dealing with rollercoaster life of loss and 3rd loss very recently there young cat which is my sister's world just passed away out of the blue. I'm so worried about her. No grieving. The only thing other then sisters and a conditional mom is her pets. I feel this 3rd loss well the last straw for her..Please help me to help her!!! Love my sister!!!
3rd loss - 17-Aug-20 @ 6:15 PM
Lost my Mom whom I have never been far from for more then three weeks in my 54 yrs. I was with her at her last hrs. She died at 80 after choices we made to surjury I now not sure we talked about and researched enough about dialysis. Sucked the life right out of her and she suffered so much after that, docs told me nothing more they could do and I always wonder if I myself couldn't of done more.. As my being aty Mom's bedside, my oldest brother was in same condition and died a month later. I wasn't there for him at all. Guilt is plaging me.. Having tons of dreams and emotionally drained.Took awhile to come up with funds for my mom's funeral. And still trying to cover my brother's cost of burial. I'm been in sever depression since 1998 and don't like being around people so I only take day jobs to make it day to day. Not looking for pity. Just don't know what to look for?? Mental health cost to. Any suggestions?
Loverdover - 20-Jul-20 @ 1:14 PM
I lost my boyfriend sept 2019. He was murdered, 4 days after his funeral my dad passed away, two months later my oldest son passed away dec 2019. I buried him the day after my birthday. I lost 3 significant male figures in my life in 4 months. Im lost and numbingmy pain....my boyfriend wanted to marry me. I have 5 kids and he wasn't their father but he was willing to help me raise them and he was my soul mate. My dad wasn't my biological father but he is the only dad I knew. My son was my world my heart and he was so humble, he was 3weeks shy of going to boot camp for the army, he joined to help me, so we don't struggle.
kristi - 18-Jun-20 @ 5:11 PM
I have lost every member of my family. When I was a child, I lost my grandmother and my Dad within a few weeks of each other, then my Mum became ill with cancer. My Mum had a horribly painful and traumatic death, and this haunts me. Last August, my brother died young, and 5 days later I lost my partner to leukaemia. My brother's death had been horrendous, because he was under the aegis of Care in the Community, as in no care, no community. As a child of 6, he had been knocked down by a drunken hit and run driver, which caused brain damage, leading to paranoid schizophrenia. Decades of hell, and then a painful death. I am left with guilt , as well as grief for all these deaths, and because I'm now alone, with no family, I feel isolated and lost. I try to remain as positive as I can, but behind the facade, I'm struggling to cope. These were all good people, and all died young, painful deaths. I watch life going on around me, albeit in a weird way due to coronavirus, but I don't feel part of it.
Swanson - 23-May-20 @ 10:20 PM
When I was 20 I lost my big brother in 2016 by a car accident. I remember that day because I had just said bye to him that morning because I had to go back to SF for finals and work later on that day. While I was at work, I got a texted from him asking me when I was done with finals so he can come visit his little sister again. I told him finals were going to be a piece of cake and to come visit whenever he can. I had to go back to work and later on I got a call from my sister saying he died. I was and still am devastated. His death anniversary is coming up on May 22nd and it's still so hard. I spent a lot of time crying and drinking. My abusive boyfriend of two years who I was living with at the time decided to leave me, which was the only good that came out since I wouldn't leave him. But, It wasn't until my friend's brother raped me that I dropped out of school and move back with my parents. They don't know that information, but yeah. . Then towards the end of the year, my big sister was diagnosed with stage 4 gastric cancer. She was my best friend and closest sister. I really thought she would beat it. a couple days before she was in the hospital and I spent the night there her last night, since we all wanted to be there for her. I stayed up because she had to use the restroom a lot and needed help going to bathroom since she was to weak.The morning she was going to be released her doctor comes in, my sister looks at me and I think oh I'm being rude so I introduce myself.to the doctor but my sister says "no get out". I was so mad. I waited outside and when I came back in I told her don't do that anymore I need to know what.you need help with and how you are doing. Later that day we were able to take her to her home, we had dinner together and she was tired so I left. I told her I would come back tomorrow, so we could hangout. After I left, I went to target, I wanted to get her some comfy pajamas that fit her, the ones she wore at the hospital were too long. A few hours after I got to my apartment, my older sister called me thwt my sister died. All I could think about after my 25yr old sister died in 2018 was how I was going to kill myself. I thought, what's the point of living if I'm just going to be sad the rest of my life. I have other siblings, and we are so close. They are all going to die and my parents. I would think if I drive fast enough on the freeway and hit the divider I could die on impact, but there is always that chance I might survive and become a burden on my family. I thought maybe I can pretend I'm going backpacking, that way they won't know about my death for a while. I didn't want them to be sad. My sister's birthday just passed two days ago. It's really hard during this time. My brother died in my sister's birth month and my sister died in my brother's birth month. I don't want to keep losing my family but I know it's inevitable. I just wish I knew how to deal with it and be okay.
CC - 7-May-20 @ 7:52 AM
I’m 30 years old. For the last 28 years my immediate family members have passed on. I have no elders left besides distant relatives and my brother on my mom side. My aunt passed away when I was 2 she was killed in a car accident. That death changed the beautiful dynamic of my family. Following here my great grandmother in 96’, my cousin Nia the daughter of my aunt who passed committed suicide by drowning in 1999. That really took a toll on us all. Another cousin in 2011 died of a gran mal seizure and alcoholism, he also molested me as a child so his death really messed me up.My grandfather in 2014, my grandmother and mother in 2016. A month an a day apart this was the worst as I was very close to both of them they were my best friend. My last aunt in 2018 and sadly my sister in February of this year. I have my brother and me and a host of neices, nephews and their children. My father is still alive but we aren’t close. I don’t get sad often only when I think of my mother. I miss her most. Sometimes I feel like I live in a dream. There passings has made me self destructive in the pass drinking and driving, promiscuity and frivolousness. I’ve come from so much darkness. I have a hand on it now. Anxiety creeps up now and again but depression has yet to show its face. I don’t drink as much as I used to nor do I like the feeling of being drunk. Fortunately will good faith and wisdom I live my life focused on life not the inevitable. If I allow my darkness to take hold my fear is not that I will die. But that I will live a long depressed life. Depression is the main culprit that shorten many of my family members lives. I don’t want that. I have many angels, lots of traumas too but my head is still high. Optimism has saved my life.
RJ - 26-Mar-20 @ 6:27 AM
I’m 30 years old. For the last 28 years my immediate family members have passed on. I have no elders left besides distant relatives and my brother on my mom side. My aunt passed away when I was 2 she was killed in a car accident. That death changed the beautiful dynamic of my family. Following here my great grandmother in 96’, my cousin Nia the daughter of my aunt who passed committed suicide by drowning in 1999. That really took a toll on us all. Another cousin in 2011 died of a gran mal seizure and alcoholism, he also molested me as a child so his death really messed me up.My grandfather in 2014, my grandmother and mother in 2016. A month an a day apart this was the worst as I was very close to both of them they were my best friend. My last aunt in 2018 and sadly my sister in February of this year. I have my brother and me and a host of neices, nephews and their children. My father is still alive but we aren’t close. I don’t get sad often only when I think of my mother. I miss her most. Sometimes I feel like I live in a dream. There passings has made me self destructive in the pass drinking and driving, promiscuity and frivolousness. I’ve come from so much darkness. I have a hand on it now. Anxiety creeps up now and again but depression has yet to show its face. I don’t drink as much as I used to nor do I like the feeling of being drunk. Fortunately will good faith and wisdom I live my life focused on life not the inevitable. If I allow my darkness to take hold my fear is not that I will die. But that I will live a long depressed life. Depression is the main culprit that shorten many of my family members lives. I don’t want that. I have many angels, lots of traumas too but my head is still high. Optimism has saved my life.
RJ - 25-Mar-20 @ 4:53 AM
I’m 30 years old. For the last 28 years my immediate family members have passed on. I have no elders left besides distant relatives and my brother on my mom side. My aunt passed away when I was 2 she was killed in a car accident. That death changed the beautiful dynamic of my family. Following here my great grandmother in 96’, my cousin Nia the daughter of my aunt who passed committed suicide by drowning in 1999. That really took a toll on us all. Another cousin in 2011 died of a gran mal seizure and alcoholism, he also molested me as a child so his death really messed me up.My grandfather in 2014, my grandmother and mother in 2016. A month an a day apart this was the worst as I was very close to both of them they were my best friend. My last aunt in 2018 and sadly my sister in February of this year. I have my brother and me and a host of neices, nephews and their children. My father is still alive but we aren’t close. I don’t get sad often only when I think of my mother. I miss her most. Sometimes I feel like I live in a dream. There passings has made me self destructive in the pass drinking and driving, promiscuity and frivolousness. I’ve come from so much darkness. I have a hand on it now. Anxiety creeps up now and again but depression has yet to show its face. I don’t drink as much as I used to nor do I like the feeling of being drunk. Fortunately will good faith and wisdom I live my life focused on life not the inevitable. If I allow my darkness to take hold my fear is not that I will die. But that I will live a long depressed life. Depression is the main culprit that shorten many of my family members lives. I don’t want that. I have many angels, lots of traumas too but my head is still high. Optimism has saved my life.
RJ - 25-Mar-20 @ 4:52 AM
I’m 30 years old. For the last 28 years my immediate family members have passed on. I have no elders left besides distant relatives and my brother on my mom side. My aunt passed away when I was 2 she was killed in a car accident. That death changed the beautiful dynamic of my family. Following here my great grandmother in 96’, my cousin Nia the daughter of my aunt who passed committed suicide by drowning in 1999. That really took a toll on us all. Another cousin in 2011 died of a gran mal seizure and alcoholism, he also molested me as a child so his death really messed me up.My grandfather in 2014, my grandmother and mother in 2016. A month an a day apart this was the worst as I was very close to both of them they were my best friend. My last aunt in 2018 and sadly my sister in February of this year. I have my brother and me and a host of neices, nephews and their children. My father is still alive but we aren’t close. I don’t get sad often only when I think of my mother. I miss her most. Sometimes I feel like I live in a dream. There passings has made me self destructive in the pass drinking and driving, promiscuity and frivolousness. I’ve come from so much darkness. I have a hand on it now. Anxiety creeps up now and again but depression has yet to show its face. I don’t drink as much as I used to nor do I like the feeling of being drunk. Fortunately will good faith and wisdom I live my life focused on life not the inevitable. If I allow my darkness to take hold my fear is not that I will die. But that I will live a long depressed life. Depression is the main culprit that shorten many of my family members lives. I don’t want that. I have many angels, lots of traumas too but my head is still high. Optimism has saved my life.
RJ - 24-Mar-20 @ 6:43 AM
I woke up from a 50 year long brainwashing from the Jehovah Witnesses.When I told them I didn’t believe in all their man made rules, they shunned me, so I lost a lifetime of people.Then my step father died of cancer Nov 16th 2018, followed by my sister 6 months later of liver failure, my dad then died of cancer a couple weeks ago and my mom died 2 days after him of a heart attack. I’m like really lost right now, and people don’t get it for sure unless it’s happened to them.
Kayla - 23-Mar-20 @ 2:50 AM
My mother passed away Jan 15 2020. My sister was diagnosed with stage 4 metastatic breast cancer in November 2019. Both were in the same hospital. I recall the day my mother passed. She was in the ICU department. My sister was 2 levels below in the oncology department. About an hour before my mother passed, they wheeled my sister in on her wheelchair with tubes all going through her arms and nose. I will never forgot that sight she rolled up to my mothers bed, grabbed her hand and kissed her one last time. I cried so much as a 32 year old. I will NEVER forgot that, Its sad, Mom never knew that my sister had cancer and they had a strained relationship because she didnt want my mother worrying. On March 7 2020, my sister has stopped all chemo as treatment no longer works. She been on palliative care since then and the doctors have given her a few weeks to love. Kidneys and liver already having issues. Even worse is the corona virus. No family members from over seas can make it to see my sister as international borders are closing. We are predicting a very small funeral and god forbid my town wont go into lockdown because funerals may not be allowed to take place. Just a horror time for the family at the moment. I feel like we my family live in a horror bubble.
Samuel - 20-Mar-20 @ 2:49 PM
My mother passed away Jan 15 2020. My sister was diagnosed with stage 4 metastatic breast cancer in November 2019. Both were in the same hospital. I recall the day my mother passed. She was in the ICU department. My sister was 2 levels below in the oncology department. About an hour before my mother passed, they wheeled my sister in on her wheelchair with tubes all going through her arms and nose. I will never forgot that sight she rolled up to my mothers bed, grabbed her hand and kissed her one last time. I cried so much as a 32 year old. I will NEVER forgot that, Its sad, Mom never knew that my sister had cancer and they had a strained relationship because she didnt want my mother worrying. On March 7 2020, my sister has stopped all chemo as treatment no longer works. She been on palliative care since then and the doctors have given her a few weeks to love. Kidneys and liver already having issues. Even worse is the corona virus. No family members from over seas can make it to see my sister as international borders are closing. We are predicting a very small funeral and god forbid my town wont go into lockdown because funerals may not be allowed to take place. Just a horror time for the family at the moment. I feel like we my family live in a horror bubble.
Samuel - 19-Mar-20 @ 3:09 PM
Man, for the first time in a while, I don't feel so isolated in my greif. So many of you have lost multiple close family members in short periods of time and honestly I didn't know of anyone outside of my family and extensions of the family, that's dealing with so much at once. I honestly have felt pretty alone in it and the few people that I do know that are dealing with this much loss, are just "faking it til they make it" like myself. I've been through a lot of horrible things and somehow, I am still here. I dont understand how I made it this far as it is to be honest. Ive experienced so much pain, abuse, neglect, and abandonment from nearly birth, that I've developed a severely thick skin... outwardly at least. But these last 3 years have been the most difficult of all of my adult pain. It started 2/4/16 when my father was admitted to the hospital and by 2/11/16 he was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer in his lungs. With more testing, they discovered hit was liver as well. In less than 3/4 of a year, it spread further to his spine and brain. Even with the chemo and radiation treatments. I spent every 3 weeks or so, back and forth from Texas to Ohio. 3 there. 3 here and repeat. I was with him a few weeks before he passed. He was supposed to be in the ICUuntil the cancer took him but he signed himself out of the hospital against doctors wishes, to go bowling with my older brother and I. It was the only true family outing I had with them two and I treasure it immensely. I had to return home the following day, but told him I'd see him in a few weeks. I never got to make it on time. On 2/24/17 at 9:56 am, while I was on my way to the Houston airport, he finally let go. I felt obligated to stow my greif not long after I made it back to Texas after we laid him to rest. I wasnt asked to do so but I felt my pain was too dark for my then boyfriend, (now fiancee). I felt like I was not devoting the proper attention and time to my relationship so I did the only thing I knew how to do. I buried the pain. I planted it as deep as I could. (Which probably wasn't far at all since I've spent my whole life buring the pain) Then, I tried to pretend like I wasnt as lost, sad, angry, distraught... and so much more, and I feel like I did good enough(ish) until the following January. I had a dream on 1/26/18 that I'd have to bury my mother before the 1 year mark of my fathers death. The next day my mom called me to tell me she was signing up for hospice, as she had been in a nursing home for a couple of years by then. He exact words to me were, "Don't worry. ?? It's not an 'I'm dying' sort of thing".. and went on to explain that it was basically easier for the home for when the time actually does come. She hadn't had a clearly audible conversation with me due to her last 15 or so years with emphysema and constant oxygen. However, that day, I heard her crystal clear. I didnt have to ask her to repeat what she said at all. 3 days later she passed away in
Amy - 12-Feb-20 @ 11:50 AM
I have lost a total of 63 Friends in the last 7 years which has put strain on my life , I have been diagnosed with Complex PTSD and serve depression have had help from several groups and company's but nothing has helped, tried lots of different medication but made me a zombie and it didn't take away the thoughts, I was then addicted to medication which I struggled to get off, I have paid for private treatment but start explaining about what's happened and what I have seen and they have got up and walked out , I have lost all my friends as the ones that said they would help have left me in the dark to get on with it , people say i always look happy but inside it's eating away at me , so much that I cannot sleep properly , Panic attacks , sleep terrors , flashbacks, heavy sweating. Fed up with people saying just get over it
Revell - 10-Feb-20 @ 10:23 PM
I am so sad reading everyone’s stories.I have my own and it is taking its toll. I lost my husband 3.5 years ago.16 months later my dad passed away.Mom followed him 13 months after that. My only sibling is dying from advanced cancer.Since we lost Mom in October, he has given up and It may only be weeks. So basically my husband and my entire family have left this world in the past 3.5 years. Drinking too much, eating too much, discovered the casino and waiting for my turn.I am 59.I can’t take much more.I don’t know what I will do when my brother passes.
Buttons - 8-Feb-20 @ 10:42 PM
7 family and friend 2 dogs in 24 months I lost my best friend from an aneurysm.60 years old a few months later, I came home on Memorial weekend to find my significant other (54), decomposed, he too had brain aneurysm. blood all over (walking dead), 6 months later I found my friend dead in the bed, heart attack. 4 months later my dad, 3 months later my sister (56), I had to pull the breathing tubes, She had an accident. Found my other friend... I walk around and around...
maha - 2-Feb-20 @ 4:18 PM
I know this all too well. My Auntie passed away this morning due to terminal cancer, a year and a half ago I lost my beloved Nan who was my last grandparent, lost my other Nan 9 months before that, lost a family friend in a car accident 8 months before this, lost my beloved Uncle back in 2012 then 8 months later my second childhood dog was put down, lost my Grandad back in 2008 who was my best friend and back in 2001 I lost my beloved Great Nan then a few months later my first childhood dog was put down. I am 23 years old and honestly I don't know how many more times my heart can be smashed into a million pieces.
Samboo - 29-Jan-20 @ 4:48 PM
I just today lost one of my granduncles to suicide a few hours ago, the other is in the hospital and has a low chance of making it, and his daughter was just told she only has 2 weeks to live. All happened in a few hours and it is very hard to deal with, especially me being only 13.
Taylor - 27-Jan-20 @ 2:33 AM
My grandmother had just passedaway a couple days before thanksgiving. Normally every year me and my family would come visit her every other holiday, so it was so shockingto me she had died days away from us seeing her again. I was trying to get over it, hide my emotions and focus on school. However, a week past and found out my cat had just died. Her name was Ares, and I was with her for 6 years every single day. Its the holiday season yet it’s filled with sadness.I don’t know how to handle this.
Onisuke - 2-Dec-19 @ 7:24 PM
Gosh this is my life. Just when I think I have begun to grieve one loss this year, I have to start at square one for the next. I’m 28 years old. In December 2018 I lost my mom to lung cancer. She was 58. In January I lost my Aunt who helped raise me, in March I lost my dad who was 62, in June I lost one of my dogs, in October I lost another Aunt and two weeks ago I lost my sister who was only 35. All sudden and unexpected for the most part. I just hope I’m done losing people this year! I think I’m at my breaking point.
Jill - 21-Nov-19 @ 11:04 PM
I understand this all to well. Apparently I'm looking for something if I'm looking this up online. I'm a single mother of a beautiful 11 year old. The deaths started for me 18 months ago. I first lost a close friend to liver cancer. Then my father to dementia. Next my boyfriend to cancer. Then my best friend and adopted nother to cancer and lastly my rock who helped with my child to suicide. I have and mat still be at that point where I feel like God is punishing me but I know he's not. I've grown closer to God but struggle everyday to be the mom that I need to be. In the past few weeks a few th7ngs have happened good and instead of enjoying it I completely break down into panic attacks. My body doesn't know how to react right now. I'm here to listen if anybody has advice.
Tanya - 17-Nov-19 @ 10:12 PM
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