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Coping with Multiple Deaths

By: Beth Morrisey MLIS - Updated: 2 Jul 2020 | comments*Discuss
 
Death Family Friends Grief Trauma

It’s hard enough to cope with one death, but when multiple deaths occur at the same time or in close succession it can be downright overwhelming. When many deaths occur at the same time it may be under traumatic or accidental circumstances, and the shock of the surrounding events can lead to even greater grief. Family and friends can be invaluable for an individual trying to cope with the death or more than one loved one, but ultimately the individual alone will need to work through his or her grief in order to truly survive the trauma.

Family and Friends of the Bereaved

Family and friends of the bereaved may be suffering themselves, but pulling together to get through the days, weeks and months after the initial loss(es) is important. Helping each other to arrange funerals and/or memorials, sorting through the estates of the deceased, organising child care and meals and keeping an eye on each other to make sure that everyone is eating and sleeping is a safety net that many individuals need following the deaths of more than one loved one. If it seems that one individual is not coping as well, such as by turning to drink or drugs, violence or anger, or an inability to care for themselves or their dependents, then organising grief counselling and/or therapy immediately may be a good idea.

Surviving the Losses of Multiple Deaths

Ultimately, surviving more than one death at a time is something that each individual will need to do for him or herself. This can be even harder if one of the deaths (or more) was accidental or traumatic given the sudden and painful nature of the event(s). Allowing themselves time to grieve for each person, and recognising that grieving for multiple losses will take longer than for just one loss, is a good way for bereaved individuals to begin exploring their grief. Putting off other things for a while may even be necessary in order to grieve properly. However, individuals who begin to lose interest in life, who feel that they are being punished for something through the death of others, who find themselves feeling out of control with rage or who turn to drink or drugs to mask the pain must be honest with themselves about their behaviours. Getting help to work through their emotions, whatever they may be, is imperative.

The death of more than one loved one is a unique trauma for every individual who experiences it. However, each person who must cope with more than one death will already know inside themselves how they can best cope. If these coping mechanisms are destructive, then seeking professional help to find others is important. Family and friends can be invaluable at this time, so allowing them to help may be a way for everyone to work through their grief. If, however, a family member or friend begins to impede someone else’s grief process then discussing how this has happened and what each would like to do about it may help everyone stay on the same page during a difficult time.

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I lost my boyfriend sept 2019. He was murdered, 4 days after his funeral my dad passed away, two months later my oldest son passed away dec 2019. I buried him the day after my birthday. I lost 3 significant male figures in my life in 4 months. Im lost and numbingmy pain....my boyfriend wanted to marry me. I have 5 kids and he wasn't their father but he was willing to help me raise them and he was my soul mate. My dad wasn't my biological father but he is the only dad I knew. My son was my world my heart and he was so humble, he was 3weeks shy of going to boot camp for the army, he joined to help me, so we don't struggle.
kristi - 18-Jun-20 @ 5:11 PM
I have lost every member of my family. When I was a child, I lost my grandmother and my Dad within a few weeks of each other, then my Mum became ill with cancer. My Mum had a horribly painful and traumatic death, and this haunts me. Last August, my brother died young, and 5 days later I lost my partner to leukaemia. My brother's death had been horrendous, because he was under the aegis of Care in the Community, as in no care, no community. As a child of 6, he had been knocked down by a drunken hit and run driver, which caused brain damage, leading to paranoid schizophrenia. Decades of hell, and then a painful death. I am left with guilt , as well as grief for all these deaths, and because I'm now alone, with no family, I feel isolated and lost. I try to remain as positive as I can, but behind the facade, I'm struggling to cope. These were all good people, and all died young, painful deaths. I watch life going on around me, albeit in a weird way due to coronavirus, but I don't feel part of it.
Swanson - 23-May-20 @ 10:20 PM
When I was 20 I lost my big brother in 2016 by a car accident. I remember that day because I had just said bye to him that morning because I had to go back to SF for finals and work later on that day. While I was at work, I got a texted from him asking me when I was done with finals so he can come visit his little sister again. I told him finals were going to be a piece of cake and to come visit whenever he can. I had to go back to work and later on I got a call from my sister saying he died. I was and still am devastated. His death anniversary is coming up on May 22nd and it's still so hard. I spent a lot of time crying and drinking. My abusive boyfriend of two years who I was living with at the time decided to leave me, which was the only good that came out since I wouldn't leave him. But, It wasn't until my friend's brother raped me that I dropped out of school and move back with my parents. They don't know that information, but yeah. . Then towards the end of the year, my big sister was diagnosed with stage 4 gastric cancer. She was my best friend and closest sister. I really thought she would beat it. a couple days before she was in the hospital and I spent the night there her last night, since we all wanted to be there for her. I stayed up because she had to use the restroom a lot and needed help going to bathroom since she was to weak.The morning she was going to be released her doctor comes in, my sister looks at me and I think oh I'm being rude so I introduce myself.to the doctor but my sister says "no get out". I was so mad. I waited outside and when I came back in I told her don't do that anymore I need to know what.you need help with and how you are doing. Later that day we were able to take her to her home, we had dinner together and she was tired so I left. I told her I would come back tomorrow, so we could hangout. After I left, I went to target, I wanted to get her some comfy pajamas that fit her, the ones she wore at the hospital were too long. A few hours after I got to my apartment, my older sister called me thwt my sister died. All I could think about after my 25yr old sister died in 2018 was how I was going to kill myself. I thought, what's the point of living if I'm just going to be sad the rest of my life. I have other siblings, and we are so close. They are all going to die and my parents. I would think if I drive fast enough on the freeway and hit the divider I could die on impact, but there is always that chance I might survive and become a burden on my family. I thought maybe I can pretend I'm going backpacking, that way they won't know about my death for a while. I didn't want them to be sad. My sister's birthday just passed two days ago. It's really hard during this time. My brother died in my sister's birth month and my sister died in my brother's birth month. I don't want to keep losing my family but I know it's inevitable. I just wish I knew how to deal with it and be okay.
CC - 7-May-20 @ 7:52 AM
I’m 30 years old. For the last 28 years my immediate family members have passed on. I have no elders left besides distant relatives and my brother on my mom side. My aunt passed away when I was 2 she was killed in a car accident. That death changed the beautiful dynamic of my family. Following here my great grandmother in 96’, my cousin Nia the daughter of my aunt who passed committed suicide by drowning in 1999. That really took a toll on us all. Another cousin in 2011 died of a gran mal seizure and alcoholism, he also molested me as a child so his death really messed me up.My grandfather in 2014, my grandmother and mother in 2016. A month an a day apart this was the worst as I was very close to both of them they were my best friend. My last aunt in 2018 and sadly my sister in February of this year. I have my brother and me and a host of neices, nephews and their children. My father is still alive but we aren’t close. I don’t get sad often only when I think of my mother. I miss her most. Sometimes I feel like I live in a dream. There passings has made me self destructive in the pass drinking and driving, promiscuity and frivolousness. I’ve come from so much darkness. I have a hand on it now. Anxiety creeps up now and again but depression has yet to show its face. I don’t drink as much as I used to nor do I like the feeling of being drunk. Fortunately will good faith and wisdom I live my life focused on life not the inevitable. If I allow my darkness to take hold my fear is not that I will die. But that I will live a long depressed life. Depression is the main culprit that shorten many of my family members lives. I don’t want that. I have many angels, lots of traumas too but my head is still high. Optimism has saved my life.
RJ - 26-Mar-20 @ 6:27 AM
I’m 30 years old. For the last 28 years my immediate family members have passed on. I have no elders left besides distant relatives and my brother on my mom side. My aunt passed away when I was 2 she was killed in a car accident. That death changed the beautiful dynamic of my family. Following here my great grandmother in 96’, my cousin Nia the daughter of my aunt who passed committed suicide by drowning in 1999. That really took a toll on us all. Another cousin in 2011 died of a gran mal seizure and alcoholism, he also molested me as a child so his death really messed me up.My grandfather in 2014, my grandmother and mother in 2016. A month an a day apart this was the worst as I was very close to both of them they were my best friend. My last aunt in 2018 and sadly my sister in February of this year. I have my brother and me and a host of neices, nephews and their children. My father is still alive but we aren’t close. I don’t get sad often only when I think of my mother. I miss her most. Sometimes I feel like I live in a dream. There passings has made me self destructive in the pass drinking and driving, promiscuity and frivolousness. I’ve come from so much darkness. I have a hand on it now. Anxiety creeps up now and again but depression has yet to show its face. I don’t drink as much as I used to nor do I like the feeling of being drunk. Fortunately will good faith and wisdom I live my life focused on life not the inevitable. If I allow my darkness to take hold my fear is not that I will die. But that I will live a long depressed life. Depression is the main culprit that shorten many of my family members lives. I don’t want that. I have many angels, lots of traumas too but my head is still high. Optimism has saved my life.
RJ - 25-Mar-20 @ 4:53 AM
I’m 30 years old. For the last 28 years my immediate family members have passed on. I have no elders left besides distant relatives and my brother on my mom side. My aunt passed away when I was 2 she was killed in a car accident. That death changed the beautiful dynamic of my family. Following here my great grandmother in 96’, my cousin Nia the daughter of my aunt who passed committed suicide by drowning in 1999. That really took a toll on us all. Another cousin in 2011 died of a gran mal seizure and alcoholism, he also molested me as a child so his death really messed me up.My grandfather in 2014, my grandmother and mother in 2016. A month an a day apart this was the worst as I was very close to both of them they were my best friend. My last aunt in 2018 and sadly my sister in February of this year. I have my brother and me and a host of neices, nephews and their children. My father is still alive but we aren’t close. I don’t get sad often only when I think of my mother. I miss her most. Sometimes I feel like I live in a dream. There passings has made me self destructive in the pass drinking and driving, promiscuity and frivolousness. I’ve come from so much darkness. I have a hand on it now. Anxiety creeps up now and again but depression has yet to show its face. I don’t drink as much as I used to nor do I like the feeling of being drunk. Fortunately will good faith and wisdom I live my life focused on life not the inevitable. If I allow my darkness to take hold my fear is not that I will die. But that I will live a long depressed life. Depression is the main culprit that shorten many of my family members lives. I don’t want that. I have many angels, lots of traumas too but my head is still high. Optimism has saved my life.
RJ - 25-Mar-20 @ 4:52 AM
I’m 30 years old. For the last 28 years my immediate family members have passed on. I have no elders left besides distant relatives and my brother on my mom side. My aunt passed away when I was 2 she was killed in a car accident. That death changed the beautiful dynamic of my family. Following here my great grandmother in 96’, my cousin Nia the daughter of my aunt who passed committed suicide by drowning in 1999. That really took a toll on us all. Another cousin in 2011 died of a gran mal seizure and alcoholism, he also molested me as a child so his death really messed me up.My grandfather in 2014, my grandmother and mother in 2016. A month an a day apart this was the worst as I was very close to both of them they were my best friend. My last aunt in 2018 and sadly my sister in February of this year. I have my brother and me and a host of neices, nephews and their children. My father is still alive but we aren’t close. I don’t get sad often only when I think of my mother. I miss her most. Sometimes I feel like I live in a dream. There passings has made me self destructive in the pass drinking and driving, promiscuity and frivolousness. I’ve come from so much darkness. I have a hand on it now. Anxiety creeps up now and again but depression has yet to show its face. I don’t drink as much as I used to nor do I like the feeling of being drunk. Fortunately will good faith and wisdom I live my life focused on life not the inevitable. If I allow my darkness to take hold my fear is not that I will die. But that I will live a long depressed life. Depression is the main culprit that shorten many of my family members lives. I don’t want that. I have many angels, lots of traumas too but my head is still high. Optimism has saved my life.
RJ - 24-Mar-20 @ 6:43 AM
I woke up from a 50 year long brainwashing from the Jehovah Witnesses.When I told them I didn’t believe in all their man made rules, they shunned me, so I lost a lifetime of people.Then my step father died of cancer Nov 16th 2018, followed by my sister 6 months later of liver failure, my dad then died of cancer a couple weeks ago and my mom died 2 days after him of a heart attack. I’m like really lost right now, and people don’t get it for sure unless it’s happened to them.
Kayla - 23-Mar-20 @ 2:50 AM
My mother passed away Jan 15 2020. My sister was diagnosed with stage 4 metastatic breast cancer in November 2019. Both were in the same hospital. I recall the day my mother passed. She was in the ICU department. My sister was 2 levels below in the oncology department. About an hour before my mother passed, they wheeled my sister in on her wheelchair with tubes all going through her arms and nose. I will never forgot that sight she rolled up to my mothers bed, grabbed her hand and kissed her one last time. I cried so much as a 32 year old. I will NEVER forgot that, Its sad, Mom never knew that my sister had cancer and they had a strained relationship because she didnt want my mother worrying. On March 7 2020, my sister has stopped all chemo as treatment no longer works. She been on palliative care since then and the doctors have given her a few weeks to love. Kidneys and liver already having issues. Even worse is the corona virus. No family members from over seas can make it to see my sister as international borders are closing. We are predicting a very small funeral and god forbid my town wont go into lockdown because funerals may not be allowed to take place. Just a horror time for the family at the moment. I feel like we my family live in a horror bubble.
Samuel - 20-Mar-20 @ 2:49 PM
My mother passed away Jan 15 2020. My sister was diagnosed with stage 4 metastatic breast cancer in November 2019. Both were in the same hospital. I recall the day my mother passed. She was in the ICU department. My sister was 2 levels below in the oncology department. About an hour before my mother passed, they wheeled my sister in on her wheelchair with tubes all going through her arms and nose. I will never forgot that sight she rolled up to my mothers bed, grabbed her hand and kissed her one last time. I cried so much as a 32 year old. I will NEVER forgot that, Its sad, Mom never knew that my sister had cancer and they had a strained relationship because she didnt want my mother worrying. On March 7 2020, my sister has stopped all chemo as treatment no longer works. She been on palliative care since then and the doctors have given her a few weeks to love. Kidneys and liver already having issues. Even worse is the corona virus. No family members from over seas can make it to see my sister as international borders are closing. We are predicting a very small funeral and god forbid my town wont go into lockdown because funerals may not be allowed to take place. Just a horror time for the family at the moment. I feel like we my family live in a horror bubble.
Samuel - 19-Mar-20 @ 3:09 PM
Man, for the first time in a while, I don't feel so isolated in my greif. So many of you have lost multiple close family members in short periods of time and honestly I didn't know of anyone outside of my family and extensions of the family, that's dealing with so much at once. I honestly have felt pretty alone in it and the few people that I do know that are dealing with this much loss, are just "faking it til they make it" like myself. I've been through a lot of horrible things and somehow, I am still here. I dont understand how I made it this far as it is to be honest. Ive experienced so much pain, abuse, neglect, and abandonment from nearly birth, that I've developed a severely thick skin... outwardly at least. But these last 3 years have been the most difficult of all of my adult pain. It started 2/4/16 when my father was admitted to the hospital and by 2/11/16 he was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer in his lungs. With more testing, they discovered hit was liver as well. In less than 3/4 of a year, it spread further to his spine and brain. Even with the chemo and radiation treatments. I spent every 3 weeks or so, back and forth from Texas to Ohio. 3 there. 3 here and repeat. I was with him a few weeks before he passed. He was supposed to be in the ICUuntil the cancer took him but he signed himself out of the hospital against doctors wishes, to go bowling with my older brother and I. It was the only true family outing I had with them two and I treasure it immensely. I had to return home the following day, but told him I'd see him in a few weeks. I never got to make it on time. On 2/24/17 at 9:56 am, while I was on my way to the Houston airport, he finally let go. I felt obligated to stow my greif not long after I made it back to Texas after we laid him to rest. I wasnt asked to do so but I felt my pain was too dark for my then boyfriend, (now fiancee). I felt like I was not devoting the proper attention and time to my relationship so I did the only thing I knew how to do. I buried the pain. I planted it as deep as I could. (Which probably wasn't far at all since I've spent my whole life buring the pain) Then, I tried to pretend like I wasnt as lost, sad, angry, distraught... and so much more, and I feel like I did good enough(ish) until the following January. I had a dream on 1/26/18 that I'd have to bury my mother before the 1 year mark of my fathers death. The next day my mom called me to tell me she was signing up for hospice, as she had been in a nursing home for a couple of years by then. He exact words to me were, "Don't worry. ?? It's not an 'I'm dying' sort of thing".. and went on to explain that it was basically easier for the home for when the time actually does come. She hadn't had a clearly audible conversation with me due to her last 15 or so years with emphysema and constant oxygen. However, that day, I heard her crystal clear. I didnt have to ask her to repeat what she said at all. 3 days later she passed away in
Amy - 12-Feb-20 @ 11:50 AM
I have lost a total of 63 Friends in the last 7 years which has put strain on my life , I have been diagnosed with Complex PTSD and serve depression have had help from several groups and company's but nothing has helped, tried lots of different medication but made me a zombie and it didn't take away the thoughts, I was then addicted to medication which I struggled to get off, I have paid for private treatment but start explaining about what's happened and what I have seen and they have got up and walked out , I have lost all my friends as the ones that said they would help have left me in the dark to get on with it , people say i always look happy but inside it's eating away at me , so much that I cannot sleep properly , Panic attacks , sleep terrors , flashbacks, heavy sweating. Fed up with people saying just get over it
Revell - 10-Feb-20 @ 10:23 PM
I am so sad reading everyone’s stories.I have my own and it is taking its toll. I lost my husband 3.5 years ago.16 months later my dad passed away.Mom followed him 13 months after that. My only sibling is dying from advanced cancer.Since we lost Mom in October, he has given up and It may only be weeks. So basically my husband and my entire family have left this world in the past 3.5 years. Drinking too much, eating too much, discovered the casino and waiting for my turn.I am 59.I can’t take much more.I don’t know what I will do when my brother passes.
Buttons - 8-Feb-20 @ 10:42 PM
7 family and friend 2 dogs in 24 months I lost my best friend from an aneurysm.60 years old a few months later, I came home on Memorial weekend to find my significant other (54), decomposed, he too had brain aneurysm. blood all over (walking dead), 6 months later I found my friend dead in the bed, heart attack. 4 months later my dad, 3 months later my sister (56), I had to pull the breathing tubes, She had an accident. Found my other friend... I walk around and around...
maha - 2-Feb-20 @ 4:18 PM
I know this all too well. My Auntie passed away this morning due to terminal cancer, a year and a half ago I lost my beloved Nan who was my last grandparent, lost my other Nan 9 months before that, lost a family friend in a car accident 8 months before this, lost my beloved Uncle back in 2012 then 8 months later my second childhood dog was put down, lost my Grandad back in 2008 who was my best friend and back in 2001 I lost my beloved Great Nan then a few months later my first childhood dog was put down. I am 23 years old and honestly I don't know how many more times my heart can be smashed into a million pieces.
Samboo - 29-Jan-20 @ 4:48 PM
I just today lost one of my granduncles to suicide a few hours ago, the other is in the hospital and has a low chance of making it, and his daughter was just told she only has 2 weeks to live. All happened in a few hours and it is very hard to deal with, especially me being only 13.
Taylor - 27-Jan-20 @ 2:33 AM
My grandmother had just passedaway a couple days before thanksgiving. Normally every year me and my family would come visit her every other holiday, so it was so shockingto me she had died days away from us seeing her again. I was trying to get over it, hide my emotions and focus on school. However, a week past and found out my cat had just died. Her name was Ares, and I was with her for 6 years every single day. Its the holiday season yet it’s filled with sadness.I don’t know how to handle this.
Onisuke - 2-Dec-19 @ 7:24 PM
Gosh this is my life. Just when I think I have begun to grieve one loss this year, I have to start at square one for the next. I’m 28 years old. In December 2018 I lost my mom to lung cancer. She was 58. In January I lost my Aunt who helped raise me, in March I lost my dad who was 62, in June I lost one of my dogs, in October I lost another Aunt and two weeks ago I lost my sister who was only 35. All sudden and unexpected for the most part. I just hope I’m done losing people this year! I think I’m at my breaking point.
Jill - 21-Nov-19 @ 11:04 PM
I understand this all to well. Apparently I'm looking for something if I'm looking this up online. I'm a single mother of a beautiful 11 year old. The deaths started for me 18 months ago. I first lost a close friend to liver cancer. Then my father to dementia. Next my boyfriend to cancer. Then my best friend and adopted nother to cancer and lastly my rock who helped with my child to suicide. I have and mat still be at that point where I feel like God is punishing me but I know he's not. I've grown closer to God but struggle everyday to be the mom that I need to be. In the past few weeks a few th7ngs have happened good and instead of enjoying it I completely break down into panic attacks. My body doesn't know how to react right now. I'm here to listen if anybody has advice.
Tanya - 17-Nov-19 @ 10:12 PM
Hi, I think I need help, since one of my best friends commited suicide 3 years ago, I have lost a further 11 friends and family through death. The 3 suicides of my male friends, and my grandad and uncle hit me the most. I have been diagnosed with chronic depression since nick hung himself 3 years ago and I feel this feeling low will never end.
Gav - 27-Oct-19 @ 7:12 AM
At the start of this year, my gran and highly handicapped aunt had a house on the same street as my mum and dads flat. When I come down to visit from Dundee where I currently live, there's the family unit all close to eachother. Until May this year when my dad died of a sudden massive heart attack, with no warning, just dropped down and was gone. My mum then moved in with my gran as the flat was my dads. My gran fell and broke her hip 3 weeks ago, she died on Saturday from complications. The house will be put up for sale. My mum is homeless. I am stuck in Dundee. This year has taken everything.
broken - 14-Oct-19 @ 11:33 AM
I've had 4 deaths in the last 8weeks.2 dear friends of 41years passed away my brother in lawwho I was close to hung himself and my cat passed away.I'm heartbroken.
Boots - 30-Sep-19 @ 5:01 PM
After reading some of your heartbreaking comments,I feel mine is just another sad story.....married very young 17..Iv five children...At 27 I lost my one and only brother aged 20 to suicide..Mum was never the same..my marriage was unhappy..Took me yrs to get over the loss..But people said I'm strong..My two eldest boys started to get in trouble prison ect..I stood by and gave all my support ..Divorced when the youngest was two, as their father hadied always been controlling. ..Took care of mum then dad for 6 yrs and lost both to Dementia..had councillors. ..Now in 2019 in July iv lost my son to murder....He was 43 and it's turned my whole world upside down....Iv 3 son's and one daughter left...My fear and anxiety has hit the roof..I'm also very very angry..My son was troubled And on drugs...My eldest is also a rebel...How can I ever stop this awful fear that more dreadful things are going to happen....Also their father has offered No sympathy..How could he live with himself....Griefstricken mumXN
Jan - 16-Sep-19 @ 11:07 AM
I lost my dad the day after my birthday from sepsis 8/22/19, then my grandma 18days later from cancer 9/9/19, and then last night my favorite cat passed away from being ran over by a car 9/11/19. I’m currently pregnant and due in November, In the past 20 days I’ve held the dead body’s of 3 loved ones and said my goodbyes. I’m having panic attacks now. I don’t know how much more I can deal with right now.
Tara - 12-Sep-19 @ 11:49 AM
My grandma who is my best friend and someone who I look up to passed away in April this year suffering from an illness. In June another relative passed suddenly. It was a giant shock as he had attended my Nan’s funeral and he was so healthy and happy and full of life and told me all about my Nan when she was younger how reckless but kind spirited she was. And now in September another relative had passed away on my partners side and it’s been a rough time trying to figure out what’s going on what’s happening and where I stand in all this. I just don’t know what to do. Who I am or what life is anymore. But I know I should thank the world I am still healthy and that my family will always be with me. And I have to solider on! I hope everyone on this site is able to get the help they deserve and need! And that you’re not alone and it’s hard to process these things. Sometimes things happen but we have to pull ourselves from the pits of depression and darkness and know we’re not alone! This is a time to be with family and friends and to share the people’s lives who have passed and celebrate who amazing they are and the more we share the more we feel one with them and come to terms with the heartache
Joy - 5-Sep-19 @ 11:11 AM
First, my heart goes out to everyone on this site. Although the circumstances are different, we all share in a unique and intense pain and can take some comfort that we are not alone in experiencing such pain. In March of 2017, I lost my mother in law unexpectedly. She was kep alive until we could see her to say goodbye. She was one of my best friends. Six months later my Dad passed. My mom and I had to decide to remove a ventilator and let him pass. He had suffered through a stroke for 5 years. Then in March, my brother, my hero and only sibling, fell into sepsis unexpectedly. He was in ICU for a week, in a special rotating bed and purposely paralyzed and in a medical coma but he ultimately did not recover. I was in the room with him while the team tried to restart his heart and held his hand as they said his blood pressure wasn’t holding and his death was imminent. I was with him and watched him pass from this world into another. He left behind a minor son that I had to begin working with the court system for his care and estate and the mountain of paperwork that comes with that. My mom would die 2 months later. I saw her the night before she passed and have at least the comfort that I had fixed her nightgown, covered her with her favorite blanket and pillow and knew she passed with dignity in her sleep. Lastly, my father in law died 6 months later. He moved close to us after his wife died and saw him daily. These people were our lives. We spent every holiday with them. Talked to them all nearly daily. Now, we have no support system. No one to celebrate holidays with anymore, no one to just call and say hi. We have just the 4 of us left and we are trying to build a future without them. I just try to remember my mom gave me all the skills I need to thrive. For me to not to use them is to dishonor her. She raised me well and although the pain is constant and some days debilitating, I tell myself to be patient with me and take it one day at a time and that I owe it to all of them to find a path back to happiness again. I have children, my brother has a son and that is their legacy. It is my job to make sure the family still thrives.
Kim - 22-Aug-19 @ 4:59 PM
Brother, 2012 Mom, 2015 Best friend, 2015 God mum, 2016 Dad, 2017 Brother, 2018 (last family member) Today, 2019 cousin Yeah, I'm numb....luckily I have a great hubby and 2 great grown girls.....
Tam - 21-Aug-19 @ 7:35 PM
I lost my nana on 7-15-19 and my grandfather today on 8-18-19 and it’s just so much i loved them so much but they lived in another state and i didn’t see them much. my nana was always there for me and always wanted others to be happy. my grandfather was a great man always respectful and caring. he lost his memory a few years ago though and could not remember anything. it was heartbreaking seeing him like that and him not being able to know me. i don’t know how i can handle there loses and i don’t know if i ever will be able to.
Nicholas Bierman - 19-Aug-19 @ 4:00 AM
I've never said this out loud, I divorced lost my home, & business 2014. 2015 suddenly lost my mother, a week later my aunt, a minth later my grandmother, within 3 months 2 more uncles. 2016 my father became gravely ill, had to move in with me. Lost 2 friends in 2016 while caring for my critically ill fathera full time job and school. My father passed in 2017, 3 months later my brother was diagnosed with spindle cell carcinoma, I quit my job spent my retirement to take care of my dying brother. He lived 10 months. July 12 will be 1 year since his death, I am so lost. I believe im in every stage of grief. I've been to counseling, emdr therapy( I also suffer from PTSD, from an earlier experience). I've yet to finish school, I'm struggling to pay bills, im depressed, angry, scared, unsure. Not sure how to make life work.
Jennrose78 - 30-Jun-19 @ 4:31 PM
Mum schizophrenia from my birth resulting in my having PTSD, OCD. No father. Lost nephew 2014 alcohol, Lost sister alcohol 4/11/18, Lost other sister alcohol 1/1.19. Mother having breakdown at present. I was attacked with glass recently and Police have falsely charged me. I have a court case 6-9 years if convicted. Found out earlier dog will probably have to be put down as bones crumbling. I don't know what to do anymore just want to die. Don't know if I can carry on.
Godhelpme - 11-May-19 @ 4:06 AM
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