Home > Children > Helping Children Remember Loved Ones

Helping Children Remember Loved Ones

Author: Beth Morrisey MLIS - Updated: 30 August 2012 | commentsComment
Children Death Remembrance Loved One

Children, and their parents, often worry that they will forget things about loved ones who have died. But after a death there are many ways that children and families can remember loved ones. Discussing the loved one after death, creating a scrapbook of a loved one, celebrating a loved one’s birthday and observing the anniversary of a loved one’s death can all be ways that children remember friends or relatives who have passed away.

Discussing A Loved One

Sometimes children think that they should not discuss loved ones who have died, for example because it might make others sad. But if loved ones aren’t talked about it can be hard for children to remember them. Discussing loved ones both formally and informally, on particular dates or in everyday conversation, in passing and as the subject of conversation, can all help children remember them. If others find it too hard to discuss the deceased friend or relative then it could be a signal that family or individual grief counselling is needed.

Creating A Scrapbook Of A Loved One

Children may find it hard to recall what a deceased friend or relative looks like, wrote like, what activities (s)he enjoyed or what activities they engaged in together.

Creating a scrapbook of the deceased could help jog their memory. In fact, creating a scrapbook together can be an act of remembrance, and looking it on particular dates or times (before bed, when someone’s feeling particularly sad, etc.) may help children feel as if they have greater control over their lives and emotions. Scrapbooks can be as creative as those making them want them to be, so there is no reason to limit them only to pictures. Cards, fabric, writing samples, buttons, stickers and more all have a place in scrapbooks.

Celebrating A Loved One’s Birthday

In the first year after a loved one’s death it can be hard to hold little ceremonies of remembrance, but children often enjoy observing a birthday or another day that held special meaning to the deceased. Nothing formal must be done on these days, but some children find it helpful to bake their loved one’s favourite birthday cake, buy his or her favourite flowers, decorate with his or her favourite colours or otherwise remember their friend or relative on this day.

Observing A Loved One’s Anniversary

Observing the anniversary of a loved one’s death can be hard for families. Young children in particular might see it as a sad day, but it does not have to be. Families can choose to spend the day however they choose, for example remembering a loved one by doing something that (s)he enjoyed. Religious services might also be a part of observing a loved one’s anniversary.

Children may have a hard time remembering a loved one who has passed away, but there is much that adults can do to help them. Discussing the loved one, putting together a scrapbook, celebrating his or her birthday and celebrating his or her anniversary are all ways by which children may better remember a deceased loved one.

You might also like...
Leave a Comment, Ask for Advice or Share Your Story...
Why not be the first to leave a comment, ask for advice or share your story...

If you'd like to ask a question one of our experts (workload permitting) or a helpful reader hopfully can help you... We also love comments and interesting stories

(never shown)
(never shown)
(never shown)
(never shown)
Enter word:
Latest Comments
  • FacingBereavement
    Re: Donating Your Body to Medical Science
    @Kelly. The Human Tissue Authority is a regulatory authority and so it will be difficult to send funds directly to…
    21 October 2014
  • kelly
    Re: Donating Your Body to Medical Science
    My father in law wanted to donate his body to medical science. Unfortunately when he died we found that all the…
    18 October 2014
  • FacingBereavement
    Re: Inheriting Property
    @catherine. You will need to work out the value of the total estate that you stand to inherit. If the house plus anything else you inherit is…
    16 October 2014
  • Catherine
    Re: Inheriting Property
    I paid for my mum's house so it is mortgage free but is still in her name and only she lives in it. I am named to receive it in her will. It…
    16 October 2014
  • FacingBereavement
    Re: Purchasing a Burial Plot
    @tina. The deeds of grant should show who owns them. If your mother's name is on the deeds then if you are the next of kin the deed of…
    14 October 2014
  • Tina
    Re: Purchasing a Burial Plot
    I have my mothers papers for her burial plot in Birmingham i would like to know if that means i am the legal owner of the plot and do i…
    13 October 2014
  • Never the same again
    Re: How Grief Affects Your Relationships
    I lost my brother on 1st June 2014 in a car accident, the very same day when I was celebrating 3 years relationship with…
    11 October 2014
  • morty
    Re: The Rights to Obtain a Headstone?
    My wifes parents took over the burial of my wife. have i any rights to get a headstone put on grave.they seem to be trying…
    5 October 2014
  • FacingBereavement
    Re: How Grief Affects Your Relationships
    @Laurzy. You are doing the right thing by being there for him. Some people cannot even face up to their grief themselves…
    29 September 2014
  • Lsm5
    Re: How Grief Affects Your Relationships
    I lost my mum 9days ago to a terminal brain tumour, I feel so lost. I sometimes think I can cope by trying to pretend…
    29 September 2014
Further Reading...
Our Most Popular...
Add to my Yahoo!
Add to Google
Stumble this
Add to Twitter
Add To Facebook
RSS feed
You should seek independent professional advice before acting upon any information on the FacingBereavement website. Please read our Disclaimer.