Home > Children > Helping Children Remember Loved Ones

Helping Children Remember Loved Ones

Author: Beth Morrisey MLIS - Updated: 30 August 2012 | commentsComment
 
Children Death Remembrance Loved One

Children, and their parents, often worry that they will forget things about loved ones who have died. But after a death there are many ways that children and families can remember loved ones. Discussing the loved one after death, creating a scrapbook of a loved one, celebrating a loved one’s birthday and observing the anniversary of a loved one’s death can all be ways that children remember friends or relatives who have passed away.

Discussing A Loved One

Sometimes children think that they should not discuss loved ones who have died, for example because it might make others sad. But if loved ones aren’t talked about it can be hard for children to remember them. Discussing loved ones both formally and informally, on particular dates or in everyday conversation, in passing and as the subject of conversation, can all help children remember them. If others find it too hard to discuss the deceased friend or relative then it could be a signal that family or individual grief counselling is needed.

Creating A Scrapbook Of A Loved One

Children may find it hard to recall what a deceased friend or relative looks like, wrote like, what activities (s)he enjoyed or what activities they engaged in together.

Creating a scrapbook of the deceased could help jog their memory. In fact, creating a scrapbook together can be an act of remembrance, and looking it on particular dates or times (before bed, when someone’s feeling particularly sad, etc.) may help children feel as if they have greater control over their lives and emotions. Scrapbooks can be as creative as those making them want them to be, so there is no reason to limit them only to pictures. Cards, fabric, writing samples, buttons, stickers and more all have a place in scrapbooks.

Celebrating A Loved One’s Birthday

In the first year after a loved one’s death it can be hard to hold little ceremonies of remembrance, but children often enjoy observing a birthday or another day that held special meaning to the deceased. Nothing formal must be done on these days, but some children find it helpful to bake their loved one’s favourite birthday cake, buy his or her favourite flowers, decorate with his or her favourite colours or otherwise remember their friend or relative on this day.

Observing A Loved One’s Anniversary

Observing the anniversary of a loved one’s death can be hard for families. Young children in particular might see it as a sad day, but it does not have to be. Families can choose to spend the day however they choose, for example remembering a loved one by doing something that (s)he enjoyed. Religious services might also be a part of observing a loved one’s anniversary.

Children may have a hard time remembering a loved one who has passed away, but there is much that adults can do to help them. Discussing the loved one, putting together a scrapbook, celebrating his or her birthday and celebrating his or her anniversary are all ways by which children may better remember a deceased loved one.

You might also like...
Leave a Comment, Ask for Advice or Share Your Story...
Why not be the first to leave a comment, ask for advice or share your story...

If you'd like to ask a question one of our experts (workload permitting) or a helpful reader hopfully can help you... We also love comments and interesting stories

Title:
(never shown)
Firstname:
(never shown)
Surname:
(never shown)
Email:
(never shown)
Nickname:
(shown)
Comment:
Validate:
Enter word:
Latest Comments
  • Jackie
    Re: The Rights to Obtain a Headstone?
    My son died nearly 22 years ago as a prem baby my ex husband won't give me the deeds to change the headstone as its looking…
    19 December 2014
  • kes000
    Re: The Rights to Obtain a Headstone?
    Hi, my father purchased the plot next to my brother in 1994. We visited for his birthday and noticed the plot had been…
    19 December 2014
  • FacingBereavement
    Re: How Grief Affects Your Relationships
    @Darren Holland. Just keep being there for her and supporting her. Everyone reacts to grief in different ways and the…
    17 December 2014
  • Darren Holland
    Re: How Grief Affects Your Relationships
    My wife lost her father suddenly 9 months ago then 6 months ago her mother was diagnosed with incurable cancer I am…
    16 December 2014
  • FacingBereavement
    Re: Coping with Miscarriage
    @KatieA. This must be so hard for you, it's great that your boyfriend was initially so supportive, but it sounds like he's not finding it…
    12 December 2014
  • KatieA
    Re: Coping with Miscarriage
    Please help: In September I miscarried my baby, (I was 11weeks). My boyfriend and I had been through a tough couple of months but we were…
    11 December 2014
  • FacingBereavement
    Re: The Rights to Obtain a Headstone?
    @shaney. unfortunately only the holder of the deeds can add a name to the headstone. You could try contacting one of the…
    10 December 2014
  • shaney
    Re: The Rights to Obtain a Headstone?
    Hello. I was wondering do you have to be related to someone to have their inscribed on a headstone? My situation is that…
    10 December 2014
  • FacingBereavement
    Re: What if There is No Will?
    @M.TM. Presumption of Death Act 2013 came into force on 1 October 2014. There have been some recent developments on this. The…
    9 December 2014
  • dragon
    Re: The Rights to Obtain a Headstone?
    hi my mum passed away 3 MThs ago, my sister had power of attonarny,my mum was catholic and my two sisters wanted to creamet…
    9 December 2014
Further Reading...
Our Most Popular...
Add to my Yahoo!
Add to Google
Stumble this
Add to Twitter
Add To Facebook
RSS feed
You should seek independent professional advice before acting upon any information on the FacingBereavement website. Please read our Disclaimer.